Children have the right to feel safe, heard and respected, every day. When children know that the adults around them will listen to their concerns and take them seriously, they can feel more confident speaking up when something is worrying them – whether it feels big or small.
This R U OK Day, we’re reminded that meaningful conversations matter, and that checking in with the people around us shouldn’t be limited to one day. The same is true for our children. Creating regular opportunities to talk, listen and connect can support children to feel comfortable sharing what’s on their mind.
So, how can we make these conversations part of everyday life?
Let your child know they can talk to you about anything
Reassure your child that they can always come to you when something is worrying them. Try to listen without immediately trying to fix the problem or tell them how they should feel.
Remember, what might seem small to an adult can feel very big to a child. When children know their thoughts and feelings will be taken seriously, they’re more likely to come back to you when they need support again.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes, simply listening and letting your child know you’re there can make a big difference.
Identify their trusted adults with your child
Talk with your child about the people they feel safe and comfortable talking to when they’re upset, worried or unsure about something.
Their trusted adults might include parents, grandparents, educators, teachers, family friends, coaches or other people in their community. Identifying these people alongside your child gives them a network of support they can turn to when they need it.
It can also be helpful to make sure these trusted adults know your child sees them as someone they can talk to.
Talk about feelings and how they show up
Supporting your child to build a vocabulary for their feelings can make it easier for them to communicate when something doesn’t feel right.
Talk about a range of emotions – happiness, sadness, worry, excitement, frustration and anger – and encourage your child to notice how different feelings might show up in their body.
They might notice butterflies in their tummy when they’re nervous, a fast heartbeat when they’re worried or a warm, relaxed feeling when they’re calm and comfortable.
Let your child know that all feelings are okay and that they can always talk to you about how they’re feeling.
Make conversations part of everyday life
You don’t need to sit down for a serious conversation every time you want to check in with your child.
Some of the best conversations happen naturally while you’re cooking dinner, driving in the car, playing together, walking the dog or getting ready for bed. These everyday moments can give children space to open up without feeling like they’re being put on the spot.
You might ask simple questions such as:
- “What was the best part of your day?”
- “Was there anything that made you feel worried today?”
- “How are you feeling about that?”
- “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
And remember, it’s okay if your child doesn’t want to talk straight away. Let them know you’re there when they’re ready.
Check in regularly – not just when something seems wrong
R U OK Day is a great reminder to check in with the people we care about, but conversations about wellbeing are important all year round.
Regularly asking your child how they’re going helps make talking about feelings a normal part of family life. It also means you may be more likely to notice when something changes for them.
If you notice your child seems different, withdrawn, unusually worried or upset, trust your instincts and make time to check in. You don’t need to be an expert or have the perfect words – being present, listening without judgement and letting your child know you care can be a powerful place to start.
Keep the conversation going
Talking about safety, feelings and wellbeing is an ongoing process. By creating a home environment where children feel listened to, respected and believed, we can support them to develop the confidence to speak up when they need support.
This R U OK Day, take a moment to check in with your child. Ask how they’re really going, listen to what they have to say and remind them that they can always come to you.
Because every conversation matters – today, and any day.
